It's a new.....something.....

Here is my list of things that I wanted to accomplish in 2005. This was from a post on 12/31/2004.

1. Eat more.
2. Quit my horrible soul sucking job.
3. Move out. (kidding)
4. Quit being the fucking pansy that I am. I don't want to be scared of anything.
5. Communicate more.
6. Quit being the fucking pessimistic bastard that I am. Good things may happen. Just not for me.
7. Make a zillion dollars.
8. Buy a Ferrari just to crash it.
9. Finally learn that horribly shitty news years song that everyone sings at midnight.
10. Find a hobby that doesn't involve masturbating profusely.
11. Get some new shoes.
12. Get my eyeballs zapped by that new fangled laser shit.
13. Star in a movie, porn or otherwise.
14. Quit chewing my nails until they fucking bleed.
15. Start running. For no apparent reason.
16. Get my motorcycle running. Go Triumph.
17. Break my record of 27 beers and half a fifth or rum in one night. (Without being hangover)
18. Learn to do the hippy-hippy shake.
19. Finally beat that damn Star Wars video game.
20. Learn to digest rocks, glass, and any other weird shit people bet me I won't eat.
21. Break my record of 22 pennies up my nose. (Without using pliers to get far ones out)
22. Learn how to talk with a ridiculous foreign accent. Hillbilly southern doesn't count.
23. Have the world know that I am indeed the coolest person on the planet.
24. Get arrested again.
25. Write a best selling book about absolutely nothing.
26. Learn to juggle knives and midgets. Or midgets holding knives. I'm still planning the details on this one.
27. Learn all the cool teeny-bopper online chat shortcuts for words.
28. Grow a huge ass nose hair. Have the afore midgets climb it. Charge people to watch.
29. Develop a secret formula for making people disappear. And never reappear.

That's all. Damn I couldn't even think of 30.

So what did I actually accomplish?

#1. Eat more.....Well I'm still alive. I guess that counts.
#2. Quit job. I did do that, but found a equally crappy one.
#3. Well this one was a joke. Ha.
#4. Not being a pansy? Well I have been able to do things that I couldn't do before. 50% done.
#5. I've been communicating better.
#6. Am I still a pessimst? Yes, but not quite as bad.
#7. Zillion dollars? I made a couple pennies. 2% done.
#8. Ferrari? No. Ford Focus? Yes.
#9. I still don't know that crappy song. And I don't care.
#10. New hobby? Drinking. Lots of it.
#11. I still haven't bought any shoes in almost two years.
#12. Laser eye-ball surgery? Nope.
#13. Am I a movie star? Only in my eyes.
#14. Nail biter? Pillow biter is more accurate.
#15. I still don't understand running. It's dumb. That's why God made cars.
#16. I still don't have my motorcycle running. I forgot what it looks like.
#17. I have broke a drinking record. But the hangover was still there. 50% Done.
#18. I fucking hate hippies.
#19. I have given up on Star Wars games. They are all impossible.
#20. I have eaten some weird shit. But I think I yakked it back up.
#21. The only thing that has gone in my nose is my finger.
#22. Have you met Habib? If not, I'll introduce you.
#23. I think the world knows I am the coolest.
#24. Didn't spend the night in jail. This year anyway.
#25. I read a book about nothing.
#26. Have you seen my circus sideshow?
#27. Fuck teeny-boppers.
#28. I did have a nosehair. It's my belt now.
#29. My formula? My gas after a night of PBR. Works like a charm.

So you can see, 2005 was a year of great nothingness.

Welcome 2006. Your ass is mine.

FIN

Had it, but lost it

I had this whole big long in depth entry all planned out, but know I forgot it. Maybe I'll have it tomorrow.

FIN

How I spent Dec. 24-25

Saturday December 24.

Woke up at 10, listening to my roomate argue with her mom on the phone. Found that boring. Went back to sleep. Woke back up at 4pm, and headed off to work. Worked from 5-7pm, and then went home. Sat by myself until 12am, when I decided to head out to find an open bar. 12:15am found a bar. Sat alone in the bar until 1:00am when they closed. Went home. Arrived back home at 1:15. Went to bed. Couldn't sleep. Finally at 4:30-5:00am, I took some Benadryl to knock me out. Fell asleep at about 8am.

Sunday December 25.
Woke up at 4pm. Went to work. Worked 5-7pm, went to go visit my mom. Arrived at 7:30pm. Sat alone in my mom's house until 9:30, when I had to leave to go back to work. 10:00pm. Arrive at work. It is now 10:15. After this I go home, and sit on my ass.

And people wonder why these two days mean absolutely nothing to me.

FIN

When did I become.....

When the heck did I become desireable to the opposite sex? For the previous twenty-seven years, girls did not pay a damn bit of attention to me. In the last three months, it has been totally different. I didn't do anything different. I'm still the same old dumbass, but for some reason I'm getting hit on. Hell even last night a girl wanted to come home with me, which I let her, but I was too uneasy to even lay a finger on her, let alone sleep with her.

Why is it all of the sudden this stuff is happening? I mean it's nice and all, but I don't want a relationship right now. I don't want to deal with the drama. I don't like being alone, but it's better for me than dealing with the drama. I'm comfortable in a drama free zone right now. So anyway, I think for the time being, I'm not going out after work anymore. (Except for tonight, since an old friend is in town, and I want to see him) Besides I don't want to hook up with a bar girl. Tried that once, it was a total mistake.

The good thing is, my confidence is getting higher. I've never been able to hold my head this high before. I think if I wanted to hit on a girl now, I could. I've never been able to do that. Maybe that's what it is. My confidence is getting higher. Is that what is appealing about me?

FIN

So what the hell?

I was OK earlier when I posted. I all of the sudden got in a real foul mood. I don't know why, but I did. So now I'm just all pissed off. But a little Sigur Ros is making me feel better.

I think I figured out why I'm in a bad mood. (This is a half hour later) I have nothing to look forward to. Except going to work (if you can call it looking forward to, I just know I have to be there.) I have no plans to do anything, no vacations to look forward to. No one to look forward to seeing, nothing. It's like I'm just wandering aimlessly just trying to get through the days. It's not a way to live. I was like that a year ago, and it sucked. That's when the bad shit happened. I will NOT let that happen again. I was doing real good here for a couple months and now BAM! It's probably just the holiday blahs, since I really don't have much to celebrate. Que lastima. Maybe something good will happen tonight. I doubt it though.

FIN REDUX

I am so full.

I just ate a huge meal. That's all that is new.

Oh and one of my good friends is moving to Chicago in a few days. It sucks. I won't have 1/3 of the late night vampire crowd. These times they are a changin'.

There's another thing that is bugging me. I don't know if I fee like discussing it here. If you know me and want to find out, just ask me. I don't feel like making it public knowledge right now.

Fuck Christmas. I've only ever gone to church once in my life, so why I feel like I need to celebrate a religious holiday? I enjoy seeing my family (to an extent, they can be a PITA). But why do make sure to see each other on this certain day, and not any other? Why can't we just do it every other week or something? Does that take away from the specialness of December 25th? To me it's just another day. I've had to work every Christmas since 1998, so the novelty of the day has lost it's luster. So yeah. The only good thing about X-mas is double pay. But I only work like four hours, instead of eight.


FIN

MAXIM

I'm so very......um yeah.

I don't really think I have much to say today. I feel I need to write something on here, but as to what I don't know. So maybe later I'll have something better to say, but as of now, I don't.

Ick.

I just had my review here at work. Why do I continue to work here? I don't want to be here, they don't want me here. I guess it's easier to quit to than get fired. Less paperwork.

I might try and be a good employee. But I doubt it.

FIN

Wheee.

So tonight as usual I'm going out to a place that I've never been. Actually I was there once before, but I don't recall it. You can figure out why. I've been on a kick lately to go places and do things that I haven't done. It's been enjoyable trying out new things and seeing new stuff. I'm sick of all the the things I've been doing for the last year or so. I'm in need of new experiences.

Also right now, I'm attempting to type all this with a broken finger. It's quite a pain the ass. Thankfully I have a spell check. How did I break it? Let's just say sometimes I do stupid things, and get hurt.

I have a somewhat new crew of friends, well I have a new friend that I've been out with a lot. I'm really enjoying the new company. So, yeah life is going OK. We'll see what the next few weeks have in store.

FIN

MAXIM

A couple Gems

http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/peephole/index.asp


http://innapropriateofficeconversation.blogspot.com/

What the hell?

Some person in Germany was searching for "younger fuck" and it referred the person to this site. That makes absolutely no sense. I'm not young, and I don't fuck. Strange.

Also my friend Violet shaved my head last night. But the guard slipped off so now I have a huge gouge in the side of my head. It'll be a week before I can stop wearing a hat.

cool shit

http://www.pandora.com

Really cool internet radio thing.

WHOOOO!!!!

Watching Red Wings hockey. This is what I live for. More than anything else. Second period is going to start soon. Have to go.

It's official.

I'm sick. Caught a case of the ickies. I can't call in sick to work, since I just called in a couple weeks back, when I wasn't even sick. So I still have to sit here for a another couple hours and get through work. I should take my medicine now. Medicine has been taken. Ick. I just ate a doughnut, and now I'm starting to get a stomach ache. I'm just going to stop now. I need to quit being a cry-baby.

MAXIM

yeah

Does anyone else want to stomp on this?






Or am I the only evil bastard?

PS- I like lizards. I just hate this one.

Yup.

That about sums it up. I really need something to do. I'm so sick of working six days a week. Hopefully soon here I'll get more than one day off a week. I'm starting to wear thin.

Last night was weird. I don't even know how to explain it, so I won't. We'll just keep it at weird.

This weird shit has been happening a lot to me lately. There's a damn conspiracy.

FIN

I feel so ashamed

So the other night I went out to that dance club with a handful of people from work. I knew it wasn't my thing, but I decided to try it out anyway. Change of scenery if you will.

So we get there and it's exactly what I think it's going to be. Loser guys drooling over slutty girls that they have absolutely no chance in hell hooking up with. It's entertaining sometimes to watch people get shot down like that. I headed up to the third floor which overlooked the dance floor just to watch and see what happens.

Evidentially that night was some Coors Light/Maxim Magazine hot girl search (they should have called it skank search, it was yucky). Some obnoxious announcer comes on the stage and starts asking these girls to do some real stupid (slutty & degrading) things on the stage. All of the sudden there are these assholes standing behind me yelling "Shake your ass!", and "Show me your boobs!". One of these comments I would have taken and ignored, but this went on for a solid 15 minutes. Each comment was getting worse and worse.

Point of the story is it made me feel like an asshole just for being born a male. I feel like I need to apologize to every woman on the planet for the rest of my life, not because of what I've done, but just for all the crap they have to put with because of the asshole men out there.

I'm sorry. I promise I won't be one of them, EVER.

FIN

***********EDIT*********************
Loosk like the people at Maxim have looked at this site. I just want to let them know they're doing a stand up policing the 'net for stuff written about them. I'm going to start hiding the words Maxim in every post just to fuck with them. I'll do it in black so nobody can see it on the page.
************************************

wow......

This is one of the most boring days I have ever had at work. There is really nothing to do. I'm sitting here on blogger hitting the next blog link at the top of blogs (which I disabled on mine, since I think it looks stupid) and finding that the majority of people out there really have nothing to say. I am one of them.

Here is a very crude pie graph of what's on most people's blogs:


So I've come to the conclusion, that I am in, at least for now, the majority of the world. I think maybe some of the sites in languages I can't understand may be interesting, but if they don't have pictures, I'm not going to bother to learn it. I'd rather just sit here and contemplate how to chop off my foot with a toothbrush.

Let's see. Is there anything new I can tell you? I'm going to a dance club tonight. Never really been to one. Should be interesting. I can dance, but I don't know if I will. I'll have to have some liquid encouragement. I'll fill in some more tomorrow.

FIN

Damn it. Really, DAMN IT!

My fucking basement flooded because my god damned landlords are too fucking cheap to replace the water heater that has been fucking up for a couple months now. I had a ton of shit get ruined. I'm not paying rent until those bastards REPLACE the water heater and give me a check for all my shit that got ruined as a result of cheap-ass-ness.

Can you tell I'm in a foul mood????

FUCKERS.