Part two is here
Once again "Lyudmila" sent me another e-mail.
Hi my friend Bryan !
I'm glad so much to receive your answer again! It's very interesting
for me to read your messages, from them we are learning more about
ourself, and I begin know more about you, Bryan .
My dearest friend Bryan, I would like to tell you about my family. I
want to say to you that I have a large family too. This are my mom
Marina, my daddy Pavel too. Also I have two sisters. They are Katya and
Masha. My sister Katya is 21 years old. But Masha is smaller sister
between me and Katya too, Masha is 10 years old.
On professions my mom is a seller in the shop, and my dad is an
engineer on the factory. My sister Katya is a student of the
university, she is studing on the lawyer, and Masha is a schoolgirl.
Our family are living without any conflicts too, we have a good
understanding between our members of our family. Because, I think that
our parents gave to us a good education. I think that it's so good and
I'm so proud that we have my mom and my daddy.
And still, I wish to tell you good news: have almost finished my work for my American
client. I very much love my work and I spend for it 10-12 hours a day.
In my free time, we are with my girlfriends. I like my girlfriends very
much, and what do you do in free from work time? Well, I must to finish
my sholt e-mail to you Because I should work now, I hope that we will
continue to correspond with each other and you will tell me much more
about yourself, and I will try to tell about myself as more as possible
in future e-mails. I want to ask you about more things,
. I hope to see your
message soon. Bye-bye...
And well here's my response. Not as good as the previous two but, everyone goes through a slump.
My beautiful Lyudmila-
How nice to hear from you again. I was thinking of you the other day and you inspired me to write a poem:
I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle , here is my spout
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!
I'm a clever teapot, yes it's true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout
Just tip me over and pour me out.
I hope that makes you happy. It gives me excitement in the loinal area. I love teabags and all that stuff. There's nothing I like better than sucking on a freshly dipped bag.
Well to get back to real life, I suppose since we are friends and all I should fill you in on my life over the last couple days.
Well yesterday at work this "guy" named Smitty called my mama a whore. Now where I grew up in L.A. you don't tolerate your mama jokes. That's shit ain't cool. So I took a swing at the guy. After he dodged and laughed at me, I vowed sweet sweet revenge on that dirty son of a bitch. So I followed him home which wasn't easy since I have to ride a bike (the Bry-cycle) due to this previous B.S. state appointed bullshit, and then stalked the shit outta him. As soon as he went to bed, I grabbed a paper bag, filled it with dog shit and lit that mother on fire. I ran out of there and rode the Bry-cycle home. Upon returning, I realized I forgot to ring his doorbell, so it was all for naught. He'll get his goddamn come-uppance soon though.
I'm sitting here now eating a pickle. Pickles are so nice. Do you like pickles? I can eat them all the time. I'm so glad I calmed down. A few minutes ago I was all in a rage and was getting very angry. Isn't a funny how a normal person like me can go from blinding rage to extreme happiness in a couple seconds? Makes me glad I'm alive. My doctor says I need some pills to fix that, but why fix something that is really awesome? I'm glad when I punch a person blind and then have feelings I call my "inner puppy dog and kitty cat cuddle bumpkin lover time." It makes everything that much better.
Have you ever seen that movie with John Wayne in it? You know that one where he says over and over "Make fuck, toe suck?" That guy was so cool. I wish he were here to help train me and take out Mom and Pops. Those baboon boners. That movie is my all time favorite. What is your favorite? Puppies or kittens?
I'm thinking of buying a pony with my new money (high class american dollars). I will name it for you.
I must be off now. Time to rub one out while thinking of the Duke.
Deliciously yours-
B-extra-dressing-please-ryan
On to part four
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