Huh.....

I'm bored at work now. There isn't anything to do here. Everyone is sitting around watching basketball. SNORE. I'm looking forward to this weekend. Well Friday anyway. Heading to Detroit to see some friends. Should be fun. There's not really much else going on right now. I've been pretty busy. Trying to keep my mind off things that make me sad and shit. I think that's the secret for me. If I stay occupied I don't think about the shit. Yesterday I didn't do a thing and just sat on my ass in bed all day. I started to get kinda sad and shit. So from now on, I'm not going to be doing that. No more wasted time. It's time to get my ass in gear and my shit taken care of. (I just realized that I've shit a lot in this post, normally shit isn't a word I use.) I started to sound like an uneducated redneck. Man I don't know what the hell is going on. This is what happens when I have nothing to do and my mind starts to wander off. This is going to big long rambling post. I'm going to try and follow my train of thought for the next hour. I'm kinda feeling rejected a lot in life. I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. I think I'm kind of drifting around and don't really have a plan or a place. I don't feel like I'm allowed to be happy after my attempted suicide a few weeks back. I wasn't happy living, and I don't feel like I'm allowed to have fun. I don't want to be sad, but I feel like I'm supposed to. I can't seem to think straight today. My mind is jumping more than it usually is. I can't quite focus on anything. I need to sit back relax and chill. But I can't. I'm very edgy right now. I'm nervous for some reason. I don't know why, but I'm actually starting to shake a little bit.

I'm chilled now. Sorta. I just need something to do. I can't stand just sitting here doing nothing. I guess I'm going to sweep something off.