Happy New Year Damn it

It is now the last 9 hours of 2004. Here is my list of things I want to accomplish in 2005. I have a lot of lofty goals as you can see.

1. Eat more.
2. Quit my horrible soul sucking job.
3. Move out. (kidding)
4. Quit being the fucking pansy that I am. I don't want to be scared of anything.
5. Communicate more.
6. Quit being the fucking pessimistic bastard that I am. Good things may happen. Just not for me.
7. Make a zillion dollars.
8. Buy a Ferrari just to crash it.
9. Finally learn that horribly shitty news years song that everyone sings at midnight.
10. Find a hobby that doesn't involve masturbating profusely.
11. Get some new shoes.
12. Get my eyeballs zapped by that new fangled laser shit.
13. Star in a movie, porn or otherwise.
14. Quit chewing my nails until they fucking bleed.
15. Start running. For no apparent reason.
16. Get my motorcycle running. Go Triumph.
17. Break my record of 27 beers and half a fifth or rum in one night. (Without being hangover)
18. Learn to do the hippy-hippy shake.
19. Finally beat that damn Star Wars video game.
20. Learn to digest rocks, glass, and any other weird shit people bet me I won't eat.
21. Break my record of 22 pennies up my nose. (Without using pliers to get far ones out)
22. Learn how to talk with a ridiculous foreign accent. Hillbilly southern doesn't count.
23. Have the world know that I am indeed the coolest person on the planet.
24. Get arrested again.
25. Write a best selling book about absolutely nothing.
26. Learn to juggle knives and midgets. Or midgets holding knives. I'm still planning the details on this one.
27. Learn all the cool teeny-bopper online chat shortcuts for words.
28. Grow a huge ass nose hair. Have the afore midgets climb it. Charge people to watch.
29. Develop a secret formula for making people disappear. And never reappear.


That's all. Damn I couldn't even think of 30.

Man......

I'm not normally a very caring person. Most of the time I'm an ass. But I can't but feel really bad about the chaos in Asia. As of right now, there are 117,000 dead. 117,000! I can barely fathom that many of anything. It's all I can think about today.



In these photos released Thursday, Dec. 30, 2004 by DigitalGlobe, the shoreline of Banda Aceh in Indonesia, is shown on June 23, 2004, above, and Dec. 28, 2004 below, after the tsunami attack.

I'm sick of it-

**************UPDATE****************************

Ass ream #1 has happened. Now I await for #2. This is going to be a great day for drinking myself into a coma.

**************************************************

Well seeing as how me bitching about the cold has only made it worse, I will stop.

I cannot believe how much I hate my job. Everyday I get sick to my stomach here. It makes me physically ill. This is not something I wish to continue. I just hope my other options pan out. I am sick of everything about this place. I hate the fact I was here until 11pm last night and was back at 4am for a 14 hour day. A person cannot expect to live like this. There's a little thing called sleep I need. There's also a little thing called days off, that as of now I have gotten 2 of in the month of December. Not any fucking more. I am done. They can all kiss my skinny white ass. I'm telling them today I am done with this shit. After 40 hours this week I won't be coming in. That means on Wednesday at 3pm I will be leaving. That will show them. (God I'm sounding like a petty little crybaby)

At least though I'm pretty much done moving. I only have a few little things here and there still to move, so that's a plus. Also the place I'm living is a total kick ass place. (Mainly because I am there) I haven't gotten the feeling that I thought I would by now, so that's also a plus. I don't want to be a bother.

And as a final note, I'm getting loaded tonight. I'm going to drink until my damn liver jumps out of my skin. I'm going to need it after the day that I am about to have. It's been shit so far and I know it will only get worse from here on out. The corporate monkeys haven't been back to bother me yet about all shit that went down over the weekend. This is why I don't take days off. I spend the next two trying to fix all the shit that went wrong.

FIN

Fucking Cold

Right now it is -3. That is fucking cold. It going to be a cold -10 by the end of the night. Fucking cold.

Moving......

is hell. I hate doing it. I just hope that soon the place feels like home, and not somebody else's house that I'm staying at.

Update-

I know I was bitching about the cold when it was 14 yesterday, but today when I went to work it was 7 degrees (-14 C, for all you outside the US) . It sucks. I have to move in this crappy weather.

That's all for now. If I have the time/desire to write more later I will.

*****************UPDATE UPDATE********************

It's like a fucking tundra outside. You know it's cold when you're outside and you cannot see another living thing anywhere. Not a bird, not a rabbit, not a person. That's fucking cold.

Huh....

I really do have a good life. As much as I bitch and moan about shit, I've got it pretty damn good.

Just one thing to bitch about. OK first off I don't mind the cold too much. After all it is winter. But right now it is 14 friggin degrees. 14! C'mon! I can handle anything above 20, but 14! Oh well. It keeps me from going outside to smoke as much.

That's all. Oh and 30 hours of work in two days should also be illegal. OK. I'm really done now.

Wow.

Did I just become an adult? I look at kids in high school and I realize how young they really are. I always kind of thought of myself as still being young, but I look at kids now and realize that I am far from it. When the hell did I grow up? Maybe I should start hanging out with them to make me feel young again. Or it could backfire and I'd just end up being the creepy old guy. Sweet. I'll have to try that sometime soon.

I'm really freaking out about getting old. My parents had me when they were my age. That's crazy. I don't even have a place of my own (yet) and they had a freaking kid. And a place of their own. That's weird. Maybe I should try and figure out where the hell I want my life to go and start heading that direction. I just don't know what direction that needs to be. That and it scares the living shit out of me. So I may just kind bounce around like I have been until I get my brain straightened out.

I need to move tomorrow. If I can't do it Saturday then I won't be able to do it until after the first of the year. My work schedule is nuts from now until then. I won't even have a day off until around January 10th. It sucks. I don't care if the place isn't 100% ready. They can do work while we're there. It's fine. Hell I'll even help out. I may not be able to fix mopeds too well, but I can fix damn near everything else. I'm a pretty handy person.

This started off as joke post that wasn't funny, so I deleted it, and now its become a real post. I haven't had one of those for quite some time. Feels good. I think my pills are finally starting to work well. I love and hate the fact that I'm back on my anti-depressants. I love that I'm not quite as depressed as I used to be, but at the same time I hate that I have to take a pill to be happy. I suppose though whatever you have to do to be happy is good. I'll continue to take these pills as long they still work.

Last paragraph (maybe)...My family just got back from our condo. Hurricane Ivan pretty much trashed it. I was really hoping to go down there in the spring but it's not going to happen this year. Oh well.

Que Lastima.

I've been being a shut in. I need to communicate more. But I don't want to bother people. I don't know. So many things. (I'm really not as bad off as it sounds here, blogs always make things seem more dramatic than they really are)

What a life....

Indeed.

These times they are a Changin'

So anyway things are still up in the air. I don't know what exactly is going on with me. I've calmed down a bit since yesterday, but I still think change is the diarrhea of life. It's not something you want. Don't get me wrong I like to change things that are bad, but why change something that isn't wrong in the first place? I've had a lot of time to think over the last day or so, and I still don't get it. If something is going good, why fuck with it? Why do people seem to think something can always be better? Why do humans desire perfection with everything? I just wish people would be happy with what they have and learn to be content. If something is going good, by all means don't fuck with it people. Be content. Just accept things as they are. Don't change anything. Y'all hear?

I don't know......

So many things in life I don't understand. I thought I wanted things, and now I realized I don't want things. Why does the human brain have to be so wishy washy?? Why is there no constant in life?? That's all I want consistency. I want things to be the same. I'm sick of surprises. I want to live a mundane boring life. I want a small house with a white picket fence, 1.5 children, and a dog. I want to come home from work at 5pm and have dinner. Then I want to smoke a pipe and have a martini, and help Junior with his homework. After that the wife and I will retreat to our seperate beds. I want the fucking Leave it to Beaver life. No more surprises. People need to quit calling me late at night and making me think at 1am. I know how the people feel when I do that. Sorry everyone. I'm done.

What the?!

Word.

The last couple days....

Have sucked. I cannot wait for this week to get over with. C'mon weekend, save me from this crap.

Feelings....

no.

Fuck blogger

I sat at 6am this morning typed in a rather long post, and fucking blogger gives me an error, and I lose the post. To summarize this morning-

1. I hate my job and computers.

2. I hate these pretentious wankers that I have to train that think they know more than me, when in reality they don't. Just because you have a paper from some shit college in the fucking piece of shit state of Texas doesn't make you a god damned god. After all you chose to go to school in Texas. Fuckwit.

3. I was in a damn good mood at 6am, but now I'm not. Thanks to the afore mentioned fuckwits.

4. I hate the fact that I cam in to work at 6:45am and won't get to leave until midnight, because I have to fix everything that these damn wankers mess up.

I'm not usually so fucking pissed off, but if you saw the shit I have to put with today you'd be swearing and calling everybody you know a fuckwit also. I'm done.

PS-Everybody out there, you're not a wanker eating fuckwit. Unless you're at my job today.

Computer Hell

Is where I'm at right now. Who says technology is a good thing?

This damn funk

I've been stuck in a really bad funk lately. I can't seem to shake it. If I knew what caused it, I could maybe deal with it, but I can't figure that out. I don't even know what brought it on. It just came out of nowhere. I was cool and then BAM! funky mood. I suppose it will pass as they always do, but I really don't want to wait for it to pass. I want it gone. Now. I'm going to try and stay busy and shake it by not thinking, but that always ends up biting me in the ass later. Maybe tomorrow night I'll be able to pass it. Usually when I'm with a good group of people, I get in a better mood and I can get over things, but who knows. It might make it worse or something. Damn it.

heh

I'm bored. Please help me not to be bored.