Yeah ok

So I'm in one of post fun time depressing mood. I feel sometimes like I'm unwanted in most situations. I invite myself to a lot of things, and then I feel like people really don't want my dorky ass there annoying them. I felt that way last night, and pretty much most of the time when I am with a group of people. I know, I know whoever reads this is thinking you're just being paranoid, but that's how I feel. When I am hanging out then I just drink to supress the feeling of unwelcomeness. The other day a friend made a joke about me hanging out. I played it off as ha ha, but I feel as though he really meant it. I really wasn't going to go over to a persons house after that comment, but told everyone that I was just messing around with him, but I was really hurt. I guess I'm going to just sit at home (as unbearable as it is) since I really don't feel welcome anywhere. Hell I don't even feel welcome at home. I feel like I'm just a burden on my Mom. I know she doesn't want me there, and I don't feel like I belong anywhere else. I'm just lost. I suppose one of these days I'll have a sense of belonging, but I don't know when that will be. Probably when I get out on my own and have a place for me. Man, I'm so weird.